Hello! I’m still alive and I’m still terrible at regularly writing. Anyways, this blog post is meant to be more of a life update (as the title says).
Life has been pretty great lately. I’m less than a month away from graduating with my doctorate and I am feeling ALL the emotions.
- STRESS – There is SO MUCH to get done. I’m in the process of finishing up my doctoral capstone project (which I’ve been working on for the past 2 years), and I am quite overwhelmed at how much there is to get done in so little time. I have to submit the final draft for my paper, then submit the FINAL final draft with appropriate edits made, finish my poster for my presentation, finish the manual for the program I developed and implemented, deliver my final oral presentation, and then participate in a research symposium. So many important deadlines are rapidly approaching.
- BURN OUT – I am so fed up with graduate school. I am so ready to be done. I know I have just a few weeks left; I know I am almost finished, but the motivation is so low right now. I am trying to stay motivated but I feel like screaming because of how FED UP I am.
- PRIDE – I am so freaking proud of myself! These past 3 years have been filled with extreme highs, but also the lowest lows I have ever experienced. I have struggled with severe anxiety, depression, and battled an eating disorder…and still pushed on. These past 3 years have been challenging, not just academically but physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m proud of myself for overcoming every challenge that life has thrown at me and I’m proud of myself for (almost) earning my doctorate.
- EXCITEMENT – I’m about to graduate with my doctorate. I’m about to be DONE with school. I’m about to begin a career as an occupational therapist where I will have a small part in helping people achieve their unique goals. THIS is what I have worked towards for so long, not just these past 3 years but in years prior. I’m excited to be moving on to the next phase of my life.
- GRATEFULNESS – I am grateful for all the people who helped get me here. I am ESPECIALLY grateful to my parents who have always encouraged me in achieving my dreams. As an adult, I understand now JUST how much they did for me growing up to set me up for success in my future. There is nothing I could do to ever repay them, but I am so appreciative of all the sacrifices they’ve made and all the love and support they’ve given me. They are truly the best.
- RELIEF – I’m so relieved to be (almost) done. It feels incredible knowing I am about to graduate, it’s like coming up for a breath of fresh air after being underwater. I am so ready for it.
Lots of emotions. I’m working on allowing myself to process through all of these feelings in a healthy way. I’m also trying (but not always succeeding) to prioritize self-care. Taking a yoga class, playing with my dog, cooking a meal I love – anything to fill my cup back up. I have days where I fall short, but I am really trying to take care of myself in the midst of all the chaos.
Graduation isn’t the only exciting thing that’s happening…there’s a BOY. I have been dating the most incredible guy for just over 2 months now. I wasn’t even searching for anything when we met. I had reached a place where I was open to the possibility of a relationship if the opportunity were to present itself, but I wasn’t actively seeking anything out. I was primarily focused on surviving the last bit of grad school, but keeping an open mind when it came to dating. Well…somehow I lucked out and met a truly WONDERFUL guy.
Let me tell you…he checks of boxes I didn’t think were realistic to even have. One of the big things we were able to bond over was our similar life experiences. We both have medical conditions that resulted in us requiring lots of medical care growing up, care that most kids never had to experience. We were able to easily relate due to our experiences of having multiple painful surgeries, rehab, bracing, and LOTS of doctor appointments. It’s so special having found someone who really gets me.
He understands what it was like having to grow up quicker than other kids and maturely handle all the doctor appointments and surgeries. He understands what it was like to be consumed with anxiety over upcoming appointments. He understands what it was like to have other kids say really shitty things that you can’t ever forget. He understands what it’s like to have multiple healthcare providers say things that make you feel all the more abnormal. He understands what it’s like to live with chronic pain, and never know which days will be good and which will be bad. He shares so many of the same insecurities and fears that I have. I have never met anyone who gets me like he does.
He cares for me so well. He makes me feel so safe and so loved. It’s only been 2 months but I would love to have 2 million more with him. As with any relationship, it’s required learning and growing for each of us but I am grateful to have the opportunity to grow with him. He is truly an answer to so many prayers. I’m excited for what the future holds for the two of us.
Well, that pretty much sums things up, at least for right now. I’m really going to try to do better at posting. I know I’ve said that before, but I REALLY want to do better. I have so many tasty recipes I want to share, mental health tips, and I think I want to start sharing some travel-related posts. Thoughts? Anyways, that’s all for now. I have a capstone project to work on finishing but I promise I will try to be more active with posting.
Remember: You are WORTH IT! Life can be hard at times, but there are good things to continue living for. Don’t let a difficult season defeat you. You’ve got this! Sending light & love your way!
Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:
Congrats on being almost done with school!