Ah…Valentine’s Day…the day of love. It’s a day that has become so commercialized and often focuses on ~romantic~ love. Romance is beautiful, but do you know what else is beautiful? Loving yourself. Society has often led us to believe we are supposed look a certain way and feel a certain way. We’ve almost been conditioned to NOT love ourselves as we are. What if we said “no” to falling victim to this? What if we decided to try and see ourselves for how uniquely beautiful and incredible we are? Learning to love yourself and make yourself a priority is almost a beautiful act of rebellion.
This isn’t an easy thing to accomplish. It won’t just happen overnight. It takes time, but it is possible to make self-love a part of our everyday lives. With that, here are 8 pieces of advice I have for learning to love yourself better and live a more peace-filled life.
- Pay attention to how people behave when they are around you. Actions tell you a lot about a person’s character. If they’ll talk negatively about other people to you, they’ll most likely talk negatively about you to other people. If they’ll share something with you that someone else confided in them, they’ll most likely share things you confide in them.
- QUALITY > QUANTITY. As you get older, the number of friends you have will start to dwindle, and that’s okay. Having a lot of friends means nothing if you aren’t being intentional with each other. It’s better to have a couple of people you can count on and be fully yourself around than to have a ton of surface-level friendships.
- Don’t throw away your money while trying to look like you have a lot of money. A Toyota and a Tesla can both get you to the same destination. A designer purse and a purse from Target can hold all the same stuff. A $100 pair of jeans a pair of jeans thrifted for $5 look the same when you’re wearing them. Looking like you have wealth won’t do you any good if you go broke in the process.
- Make yourself a priority. You can’t pour from an empty cup and sometimes you’ll have to be the one to fill your own damn cup. You can’t always wait around for someone else to fill you up when you’re burnt out. Sometimes, you have to take back control and do something to fill yourself up again. It isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to help you be the best version of yourself.
- Date yourself. Falling in love with yourself is truly a magical thing. When it comes down to it, YOU are the only person you know will be there for you 100% of the time. Take yourself out to do things you enjoy, and do it by yourself. Take yourself out to eat at your favorite restaurant, go see a movie or live theatre performance, go get a mani-pedi…do something that you love and enjoy your own company while doing it.
- Makeup won’t make you magically feel beautiful. Yes, it can be fun and make you feel “pretty,” but feeling truly BEAUTIFUL is a work from within. Until you learn to love yourself as you are, you will not see how truly beautiful you are. Learn to love all the things you were led to believe are flaws. Whether it be your laugh you’ve been told is too loud, your legs you’ve been told are too short, or your personality you’ve been told is too shy, learn to LOVE those things. Those things are a part of what makes you, YOU.
- When dating romantically, be straightforward about your wants and needs. It’s better to have uncomfortable conversations early on and establish what you both want than it is to wait and find out you’re not compatible. Be bold and set those boundaries. The right person will respect them.
- Unplug from unhappiness. Social media has its pros and cons. It can be useful in that it allows us to keep up with people we may not see anymore, but it can also be harmful in that it allows for us to play the comparison game. If someone’s content causes you to feel poorly about yourself: Unfriend them, block them, mute them, delete the app altogether…do whatever you need to do to support your mental health and don’t feel guilty about it.
Self-love is something that should be a part of your everyday. You deserve to make yourself a priority and not feel guilty about it. It isn’t always easy, but it is worth it and will allow you to live a more fulfilling life. I hope you are able to utilize some (or all) of these tips in your daily life.
Sending light & love your way, – J
Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase: