Depression Days, Altered Plans, & Growth Reflections

It’s one of those days…one of those days where I’m feeling more depressed than I am anxious. Actually, that’s how the past 4 days have been. When I have days like this, it’s often because the anxiety has been building up for so long and my mind & body finally just goes into shut down mode. Does it suck? ABSOLUTELY…but I’m able to handle these days better than I was able to a couple years ago.

This is one of those posts I’m writing more for myself, to sort through my thoughts. If you want to read along, please do; I hope that maybe you can find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone on the hard days. If not, no worries. I’ll understand if you don’t feel like reading all this word vomit. Anyways, I’m going to dive in.

Here’s the Story:

I graduated with my doctorate in occupational therapy back in August (woohoo!) and spent 6 months studying tirelessly for my board certification exam, the NBCOT. Was I planning on it taking 6 months to prepare? No, but one of the things I’ve learned over the past couple years is to relinquish control and not have every little thing perfectly scheduled out. That being said, 6 months of studying is what ended up happening.

I had it planned out. I was going to take a 2 week break after graduation to enjoy life and relax after busting my ass in OT school the past 3 years, then dive into studying for ideally 8 weeks, but no more than 12. HAHA. That’s definitely NOT what happened. That little 2 week break started with me getting COVID. Somehow I survived being on a fieldwork rotation in a hospital in the middle of COVID and had patients cough and breathe on me, but I couldn’t survive a weekend running around Dallas while celebrating with my loved ones. So, the first week following graduation was spent quarantining. Since quarantining is NOT a fun break, I added on an extra week, turning what should have been a 2 week break into a 3 week break.

Okay, time to study, right? Eh…not exactly. I spent a week working to get everything organized so that I could start studying, and then when I was finally ready to begin studying, I got hit with another curveball with my health. I’m still not exactly sure what happened, but I’m pretty sure it comes down to me having a hypoglycemic episode. I hadn’t eaten well that day, was really stressed (because I was starting to study for the NBCOT), decided to go to a yoga class to calm my nerves, and ended up in the ER. Apparently I passed out and an ambulance was called. I have no recollection of it happening or riding in the ambulance; the only thing I remember is feeling hot and nauseous in class, and then waking up in the ER. That was a fun time, a fun time that has left me with $5,000 in medical bills AFTER insurance (insert eye-roll here).

After all that passed, I was FINALLY able to truly get to studying. It still took a couple of weeks to find my groove. Despite asking seasoned therapists, peers who had graduated before me, and looking online for advice on what/how to study, it was still learning process to figure out what worked best for me. Once I got started, I was able to make decent headway. I had a week in October where I went to visit my parents and got ZERO studying done. I brought study materials with me but ended up never even taking my laptop out of my backpack. I just wanted to enjoy being present with them. Thanksgiving wasn’t much different; I studied probably a total of 2-3 hours the whole week I was there. Again, I just wanted to enjoy being present with my family since I don’t seem them that often.

I continued studying through the end of the year, actually accomplishing some decent studying over Christmas, and took a little break to kickstart 2023 with a trip to L.A. Upon getting home to Texas, I scheduled the exam. With it being a challenge to get seats at the testing centers, the soonest available date in my area was the beginning of March. So, I scheduled it for then and continued studying my life away. Countless hours in front of a computer screen, reading and re-reading notes, multiple practice tests & practice simulations, and virtual study meetings later, I felt kinda sorta ready-ish…

The Test:

After I took the test the beginning of March, I then had to wait 2 weeks to get my results. I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt about it when I walked out of the testing center. I was mentally exhausted after taking a 4-hour exam on a computer screen, and honestly just wanted a nap. I didn’t feel like I had blown the exam out of the water, but I didn’t feel like I had epically failed it either. I felt like I had probably either made just above a passing score, or just below a passing score. All of my practice test scores were even in that range, so it seemed reasonable I felt that way. Well, 2 weeks later, scores were released…

9 points…I was 9 FREAKING POINTS away from a passing score. That sucked. I wasn’t necessarily surprised, but it didn’t change the fact that it sucked to have been so close but not close enough. I hated having to tell my parents. They had so much confidence in me and had rallied their friends and other family members to pray. I felt like I had disappointed people. I was also a bit disappointed in myself since I had worked so hard and spent so long studying, but I really felt like I had let others down.

I got my results on a Thursday and prior to scores being released, I had decided that if the results were NOT what I was hoping for, I would give myself through the weekend to be upset about it. I wanted to give myself a few days to sit with my feelings and process through things, so that I could get back to the grind and begin studying in a clear headspace.

On the day I got my results, I was able to get scheduled for my next attempt, which will be the end of May. I didn’t want to wait that long, but that was unfortunately the earliest date available in my area and the next closest testing center is 2 hours away. As I said, it’s hard to get seats at the testing centers since they administer MANY types of exams. You could be in a room with other people taking the NBCOT, people doing an audiology certification exam, someone taking their CPA exam, and someone testing to get their real estate license, so it’s pretty busy. That being said, end of May it is. I’m ready to kick this test in the ass this time. I know what areas I need to work on, somewhat, based on my score report, and I’m using that to help guide my studying for this next attempt. I’m hoping it will go better this time and that I will pass. I’m trying to manifest good things and think positive thoughts.

Present Day:

Now, I’m working on studying for attempt number two. I went to visit my parents for a week after I got my NBCOT results (had the trip booked in advance), and it was a nice time to recharge, even with me studying some while there. Since getting home, I have really been trying to get back in the study zone. It’s been hard though. Mentally, I have been in such a weird place and have been feeling extremely overwhelmed. It’s to the point where the depression is very present and has made it hard to get much done. I’m trying to work through it and identify what changes need to be made. There are a couple things I can think of that are contributing to my lowered mood:

  • ISOLATION. Being at home and studying for so long has taken its toll on me. I don’t have that many social interactions at the moment, aside from yoga class or going to Whole Foods. I’m very ready to start working and actually be able to interact with people regularly. I’m trying to get out and do stuff, like go for walks around the lake with my dog and go to events for my undergraduate university’s local alumni group, but I NEED more consistent interactions with others.
  • FINANCIAL STRESS. Between not being able to start my career yet (i.e. I don’t have a strong income stream), trying to pay rent & bills, paying for weekly therapy appointments, buying groceries, and having that damn hospital bill to pay off, I’ve been EXTREMELY stressed over finances. I’ve been having to dip into my savings account way more than I’d like, but it’s kind of my only option right now. It’s definitely wearing on me.

I’m not entirely sure what to do. The isolation is easier to tackle, but the finances have me feeling a bit more stuck. I’m trying to see if I can find anything online to earn some money, but I need something that’s flexible. Studying for boards still has to be my main priority. I wish I could just snap my fingers and have all my problems be solved, but that’s not how life works. So, I’m just going to continue pressing on and rise above it. I always do. Even today, my therapist told me how resilient she has seen me be over these past 3 years of me seeing her. I’ll figure it all out, eventually.

As usual, I’m not exactly sure how to wrap this all up. If you read all of this, thank you. I know it was a lot of rambling word vomit, but I did say I was writing it more to sort through my thoughts. Maybe some of this resonated with you…or maybe you sat there rolling your eyes at me. Either way, thank you for sticking around until the end.

I really would like to get more consistent with writing. I know I have been saying that for so long and have yet to make it happen, but it is something I need to do. It’s always so therapeutic for me when I write everything out. I’ve tried journaling, but I’m honestly worse at keeping up with that than I am with my blog. Plus, I like this more because other people can read it and hopefully relate. If even ONE person can feel less alone, that would be worth it. I am going to try to be more consistent. It might be a slow start, but I promise I will try.

Sending light & love your way – J

Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:


A Valentine to You: Self-Love Tips on the Day of Love (That Can Be Used All Days)

Ah…Valentine’s Day…the day of love. It’s a day that has become so commercialized and often focuses on ~romantic~ love. Romance is beautiful, but do you know what else is beautiful? Loving yourself. Society has often led us to believe we are supposed look a certain way and feel a certain way. We’ve almost been conditioned to NOT love ourselves as we are. What if we said “no” to falling victim to this? What if we decided to try and see ourselves for how uniquely beautiful and incredible we are? Learning to love yourself and make yourself a priority is almost a beautiful act of rebellion.

This isn’t an easy thing to accomplish. It won’t just happen overnight. It takes time, but it is possible to make self-love a part of our everyday lives. With that, here are 8 pieces of advice I have for learning to love yourself better and live a more peace-filled life.

  1. Pay attention to how people behave when they are around you. Actions tell you a lot about a person’s character. If they’ll talk negatively about other people to you, they’ll most likely talk negatively about you to other people. If they’ll share something with you that someone else confided in them, they’ll most likely share things you confide in them.
  2. QUALITY > QUANTITY. As you get older, the number of friends you have will start to dwindle, and that’s okay. Having a lot of friends means nothing if you aren’t being intentional with each other. It’s better to have a couple of people you can count on and be fully yourself around than to have a ton of surface-level friendships.
  3. Don’t throw away your money while trying to look like you have a lot of money. A Toyota and a Tesla can both get you to the same destination. A designer purse and a purse from Target can hold all the same stuff. A $100 pair of jeans a pair of jeans thrifted for $5 look the same when you’re wearing them. Looking like you have wealth won’t do you any good if you go broke in the process.
  4. Make yourself a priority. You can’t pour from an empty cup and sometimes you’ll have to be the one to fill your own damn cup. You can’t always wait around for someone else to fill you up when you’re burnt out. Sometimes, you have to take back control and do something to fill yourself up again. It isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to help you be the best version of yourself.
  5. Date yourself. Falling in love with yourself is truly a magical thing. When it comes down to it, YOU are the only person you know will be there for you 100% of the time. Take yourself out to do things you enjoy, and do it by yourself. Take yourself out to eat at your favorite restaurant, go see a movie or live theatre performance, go get a mani-pedi…do something that you love and enjoy your own company while doing it.
  6. Makeup won’t make you magically feel beautiful. Yes, it can be fun and make you feel “pretty,” but feeling truly BEAUTIFUL is a work from within. Until you learn to love yourself as you are, you will not see how truly beautiful you are. Learn to love all the things you were led to believe are flaws. Whether it be your laugh you’ve been told is too loud, your legs you’ve been told are too short, or your personality you’ve been told is too shy, learn to LOVE those things. Those things are a part of what makes you, YOU.
  7. When dating romantically, be straightforward about your wants and needs. It’s better to have uncomfortable conversations early on and establish what you both want than it is to wait and find out you’re not compatible. Be bold and set those boundaries. The right person will respect them.
  8. Unplug from unhappiness. Social media has its pros and cons. It can be useful in that it allows us to keep up with people we may not see anymore, but it can also be harmful in that it allows for us to play the comparison game. If someone’s content causes you to feel poorly about yourself: Unfriend them, block them, mute them, delete the app altogether…do whatever you need to do to support your mental health and don’t feel guilty about it.

Self-love is something that should be a part of your everyday. You deserve to make yourself a priority and not feel guilty about it. It isn’t always easy, but it is worth it and will allow you to live a more fulfilling life. I hope you are able to utilize some (or all) of these tips in your daily life.

Sending light & love your way, – J

Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:

Travel Tips: Santa Barbara, California

Santa Barbara is a beautiful city, located on the California coast. With beautiful weather year-round, it’s the perfect place to plan a trip if you’re needing a little getaway. Below are some of my “can’t miss” recommendations when in Santa Barbara.


Santa Barbara has no shortage of gorgeous beaches. With so many miles of sunny, sandy shoreline, there is a beach for everyone. Below are some of my favorite beaches in Santa Barbara that I highly recommend you visit if you are in the area.

Arroyo Burro Beach

Arroyo Burro Beach, better known to locals as Hendry’s Beach, is a can’t miss beach for you and your canine companion. This beach gladly welcomes dogs of all sizes and features both an on-leash side, if you prefer to keep you furry best friend close to you, and an off-leash side, if you want to let them run free. Parking is free, but limited.

Address: 2981 Cliff Dr, Santa Barbara, CA 93109

Arroyo Burro Beach at sunset

Leadbetter Beach

Leadbetter Beach is the beach I frequented the most while in Santa Barbara. It felt like a little slice of heaven on earth. I loved taking my dog for walks here and watching the sunset. There is plenty of soft, sandy space that is perfect for spending an afternoon reading a book and catching some sun. If you prefer to be more active when at the beach, there is lots of surfing and stand-up paddle boarding to be enjoyed (and you can sign up for lessons if new to it). Leadbetter Beach is also by the popular Stearn’s Wharf, which features multiple restaurants and recreation activities, such as parasailing. I also recommend you make a walk up to Shoreline Park, which will provide you with incredible views of the Channel Islands. There is a large parking lot at Leadbetter Beach with many spaces available for $2/hour.

Address: 801 Shoreline Dr, Santa Barbara, CA 93109

Leadbetter Beach

Butterfly Beach

Butterfly Beach is located in the ritzy village of Montecito. The unique positioning of this beach along the coastline makes it an ideal location to catch both sunrises AND sunsets. Make sure to pay attention to the tide; during high tide, your towel may very well get soaked if you’re lounging in the sand. Keep your eyes peeled for any familiar faces when in this area. Montecito is home to quite a few celebrities.

Address: 1260 Channel Dr, Montecito, CA 93108

Butterfly Beach

Food Recommendations

The Boathouse at Hendry’s

If you are wanting some good brunch while in Santa Barbara, I HIGHLY recommend The Boathouse at Hendry’s. Located at Arroyo Burro/Hendry’s Beach, The Boathouse features an expansive menu of food and beverage options with some incredible beachside views. Not into brunch? It’s also a popular seafood place for lunch and dinner (I am not a fan of seafood, so I cannot give an opinion on their lunch & dinner options).

Address: 2981 Cliff Dr, Santa Barbara, CA 93109

Bree’osh Bakery & Café

Bree’osh is a quaint French-style bakery and café with locations in Santa Barbara and Montecito. Open for breakfast and lunch, Bree’osh offers quiches, sandwiches, soups, & salads to give you an early morning or mid-day pick-me-up. Not in the mood for an actual meal? Bree’osh also offers a variety of pastries and coffee that make for an easy grab-and-go treat. I HIGHLY recommend the almond croissant.

Address (Montecito): 1150 Coast Village Rd E, Montecito, CA 93108

Address (Santa Barbara): 2700 De La Vina St, Santa Barbara, CA 93105


Chase is an Italian restaurant located in downtown Santa Barbara. Their menu features a variety of well-loved Italian pasta dishes, along with an expansive wine and cocktail menu. They also have incredible desserts, assuming you don’t eat your weight in bread and pasta (which is what I usually do, so no judgement from me). Seating is available both inside and outside and the waitstaff provides top-notch service. If you want a nice dinner while visiting, I recommend you go to Chase!

Address: 1012 State St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101


Circle Bar B Stables

If you want to take a break from the typical “beach vibes” of Santa Barbara, then head to Circle Bar B Stables. Circle Bar B Stables offers 1.5 hour, 2.5 hour, and half-day horse trail rides. The trail ride takes you through the Indian Canyon and provides you with INCREDIBLE views of the Santa Ynez Mountains, Pacific Ocean, and Channel Islands National Park. The views at the top are truly breathtaking. No prior riding experience is required and the guides do an outstanding job leading the tours (please make sure to tip your guide). You will not be disappointed!

Address: 1800 Refugio Rd, Goleta, CA 93117

Views from the Circle Bar B trail ride

All photos are my own and are not to be sold or redistributed.

Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:

Life Updates!

Hello! I’m still alive and I’m still terrible at regularly writing. Anyways, this blog post is meant to be more of a life update (as the title says).

Life has been pretty great lately. I’m less than a month away from graduating with my doctorate and I am feeling ALL the emotions.

  • STRESS – There is SO MUCH to get done. I’m in the process of finishing up my doctoral capstone project (which I’ve been working on for the past 2 years), and I am quite overwhelmed at how much there is to get done in so little time. I have to submit the final draft for my paper, then submit the FINAL final draft with appropriate edits made, finish my poster for my presentation, finish the manual for the program I developed and implemented, deliver my final oral presentation, and then participate in a research symposium. So many important deadlines are rapidly approaching.
  • BURN OUT – I am so fed up with graduate school. I am so ready to be done. I know I have just a few weeks left; I know I am almost finished, but the motivation is so low right now. I am trying to stay motivated but I feel like screaming because of how FED UP I am.
  • PRIDE – I am so freaking proud of myself! These past 3 years have been filled with extreme highs, but also the lowest lows I have ever experienced. I have struggled with severe anxiety, depression, and battled an eating disorder…and still pushed on. These past 3 years have been challenging, not just academically but physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m proud of myself for overcoming every challenge that life has thrown at me and I’m proud of myself for (almost) earning my doctorate.
  • EXCITEMENT – I’m about to graduate with my doctorate. I’m about to be DONE with school. I’m about to begin a career as an occupational therapist where I will have a small part in helping people achieve their unique goals. THIS is what I have worked towards for so long, not just these past 3 years but in years prior. I’m excited to be moving on to the next phase of my life.
  • GRATEFULNESS – I am grateful for all the people who helped get me here. I am ESPECIALLY grateful to my parents who have always encouraged me in achieving my dreams. As an adult, I understand now JUST how much they did for me growing up to set me up for success in my future. There is nothing I could do to ever repay them, but I am so appreciative of all the sacrifices they’ve made and all the love and support they’ve given me. They are truly the best.
  • RELIEF – I’m so relieved to be (almost) done. It feels incredible knowing I am about to graduate, it’s like coming up for a breath of fresh air after being underwater. I am so ready for it.

Lots of emotions. I’m working on allowing myself to process through all of these feelings in a healthy way. I’m also trying (but not always succeeding) to prioritize self-care. Taking a yoga class, playing with my dog, cooking a meal I love – anything to fill my cup back up. I have days where I fall short, but I am really trying to take care of myself in the midst of all the chaos.

Graduation isn’t the only exciting thing that’s happening…there’s a BOY. I have been dating the most incredible guy for just over 2 months now. I wasn’t even searching for anything when we met. I had reached a place where I was open to the possibility of a relationship if the opportunity were to present itself, but I wasn’t actively seeking anything out. I was primarily focused on surviving the last bit of grad school, but keeping an open mind when it came to dating. Well…somehow I lucked out and met a truly WONDERFUL guy.

Let me tell you…he checks of boxes I didn’t think were realistic to even have. One of the big things we were able to bond over was our similar life experiences. We both have medical conditions that resulted in us requiring lots of medical care growing up, care that most kids never had to experience. We were able to easily relate due to our experiences of having multiple painful surgeries, rehab, bracing, and LOTS of doctor appointments. It’s so special having found someone who really gets me.

He understands what it was like having to grow up quicker than other kids and maturely handle all the doctor appointments and surgeries. He understands what it was like to be consumed with anxiety over upcoming appointments. He understands what it was like to have other kids say really shitty things that you can’t ever forget. He understands what it’s like to have multiple healthcare providers say things that make you feel all the more abnormal. He understands what it’s like to live with chronic pain, and never know which days will be good and which will be bad. He shares so many of the same insecurities and fears that I have. I have never met anyone who gets me like he does.

He cares for me so well. He makes me feel so safe and so loved. It’s only been 2 months but I would love to have 2 million more with him. As with any relationship, it’s required learning and growing for each of us but I am grateful to have the opportunity to grow with him. He is truly an answer to so many prayers. I’m excited for what the future holds for the two of us.

Well, that pretty much sums things up, at least for right now. I’m really going to try to do better at posting. I know I’ve said that before, but I REALLY want to do better. I have so many tasty recipes I want to share, mental health tips, and I think I want to start sharing some travel-related posts. Thoughts? Anyways, that’s all for now. I have a capstone project to work on finishing but I promise I will try to be more active with posting.

Remember: You are WORTH IT! Life can be hard at times, but there are good things to continue living for. Don’t let a difficult season defeat you. You’ve got this! Sending light & love your way!

Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:

The Transference Talk

Well…I did it. I spilled my guts to my therapist about my attachment to her, and so many emotions came with it.

I was so nervous to tell her. I started to at my appointment last week but couldn’t work up the courage to do so. It felt too shameful and I wasn’t sure how to even approach it. This is something I have wanted to address for several months but I had been too scared to do it.

I tried to push these feelings aside and tell myself that it’s just a normal part of therapy. I know that these feelings are normal; transference often happens in therapy. However, the longing to have a personal relationship with my therapist and to be nurtured and cared for by her has persisted. As these feelings have continued, it has only made me feel more ashamed for my attachment. It felt like I was doing something wrong for experiencing such a strong attachment. I knew it was something I should talk to her about, especially since I was feeling so ashamed and frustrated with myself for feeling this way.

It was nerve-racking to tell her, but it also felt good to get it out there. She wasn’t judgmental, weirded out, or angry, all of which I was afraid of for some reason. I don’t know why, as she has always been so kind, but that was still a fear I had. She was nothing but understanding and listened with such kindness. We talked about it further and the maternal transference I was experiencing. This conversation came with MANY tears, but she was so caring and made me feel comfortable.

It still sucks, though. I wish our relationship didn’t have to remain professional. I wish I could meetup with her outside of my appointments and get to know her on a personal level. I wish I got to spend more than just 45 minutes/week with her. It kills me how much I miss her in-between sessions sometimes. My appointments with her are the only time I get a hug from anyone. My appointments with her are the only consistent face-to-face interaction I get with someone I feel like cares about me. Those 45 minutes each week are the only time I feel like I can be honest about how I’m feeling without fear of any judgment.

I feel better after talking to her about it, but those feelings of attachment are still there. The desire to be cared for by her in a maternal way is still there. I’m not sure how to navigate this, but I’m proud of myself for having the courage to address this and I’m grateful to have a therapist who is so kind and understanding.

Here’s to continuing to push forward, no matter how hard life is. I’ve got this. You’ve got this. Sending light & love your way!

Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:

Painful, Professional Boundaries & the Therapeutic Relationship

Sometimes, it is so intense – the longing to see her in-between sessions. I know I can’t. I know it would be unethical, unprofessional, unhealthy, among other things…but it doesn’t change the way I feel.

The relationship with my therapist is one of the few where I feel truly comfortable with being myself. It’s one where I feel safe and can speak what is on my mind and on my heart without fear of judgment. It’s one of the few where I feel cared for and truly heard. For me, my therapist is an incredibly important person in my life, so it’s hard knowing that I’m just one of many clients to her.

I wish our relationship didn’t have to remain a professional client-therapist one. I wish it could be more personal. I understand why it can’t, but she’s just so kind and nurturing. She makes me feel cared for in a maternal way. I wish I got more than just 45 minutes a week with her. I wish I could get coffee with her and get to know her better on a personal level. I feel so ashamed for feeling this way, especially since I understand our relationship can’t exist outside the 4 walls of that cozy little room I look forward to sitting in each week. It just sucks…

This is something I want to discuss more with my therapist but I honestly don’t know how. I started to last week but I struggled and couldn’t get much out. It was just so embarrassing and I was consumed with fear and shame. I wasn’t really sure how to address it. What am I supposed to do? Do I just come right out and say, “I really wish I could have a personal relationship with you outside of therapy due to the fact that I have attachment issues and due to the fact there’s probably some transference going on here?” That sounds humiliating.

I’m not sure what to do. I want to address it more, it’s just so scary…

Checkout my journaling guide, Journey to Journaling: 36 Journaling Prompts to Inspire You & Promote Thoughtful Reflection, and my self-care guide, Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care. Both are available on Amazon for $9.99 as a paperback and a Kindle edition. Both are also available for $9.99 on Payhip as a digital download if you prefer a digital copy but don’t have a Kindle. Click the links below to purchase:

Community Crew//Apparel for Mental Health Awareness

One of the things I’ve really been wanting for this brand is for it to create COMMUNITY. I want for people to see they are NOT alone in their struggles. What better way to do that than with comfy, colorful shirts?!

I’ve decided to setup a little store to sell t-shirts and sweatshirts. All designs are created by me, for you to wear. My hope is that people will buy the shirts and wear them, leading to conversations taking place – the types of conversations that foster community. From that, I hope it will create a domino effect: more people buy shirts, more conversations take place, more connections are formed, and so on and so forth. I want to help normalize talking about mental health in our daily lives.

To get the ball rolling on this, I need YOUR help. Click the link above or below and go buy a shirt or two (please). Share the link with your friends (again, please). Together, we can create community so others can see they are not alone (and we can be comfortable while doing it).

Thanks y’all! I couldn’t do this without each of you. It means so much to have y’all on this ride with me. Sending light & love your way!

With love,


Journaling: An Affordable Form of Self-Care

Hello! It’s been awhile. Maybe one day I will FINALLY get consistent with writing. That day is not today, though. I do have some exciting news to share (well, exciting for me at least). I have some super cute journals available for purchase in the Amazon bookstore! All of them are 100 lined pages and cost $6.99.

Journaling can be therapeutic for individuals living with depression and/or anxiety. It allows you the opportunity to write everything out, making it easier to sort through your thoughts. Regularly journaling gives you something tangible to look back on, which is helpful for identifying triggers, as well as recognizing the progress you have made.

I have found journaling to be highly beneficial for my mental health. One of the best things about journaling is that it is an affordable form of self-care anyone can partake in. All you need is a journal of your choice and a writing tool. Additionally, it’s portable, so you can still make time for it while on-the-go.

Having a cute journal can make it all the more enjoyable, which is why I decided to design some. Below are pictures of some of the ones I currently have available.

Go to –> On the side menu, scroll down to “Digital Content & Devices” and click the arrow beside “Kindle E-readers & Books–> Scroll down to the section that says “Kindle Store” and click on “Kindle Books–> On the menu at the top of the “Kindle Books” page, click on the tab that says “Advanced Search–> It will take you to a page that says “Kindle eBooks: Advanced Search–> Go to the side menu that says “Kindle Books” at the top and click on the tab that says “Books –> You should now be on a page that says “Books Search –> Go to the dropdown menu under “Format” and select the option for “Paperback –> In the search box for author, type “Lessons in the Lone Star –> Press the “Search” button –> You should now be on the page that displays all of the journals

What now? Well, I hope you will order 1…or 2…or 10. Buy some for yourself, your friends, your family, anyone!

Please tell your friends! Help me get the word out and share this with them. I can’t do this without y’all. Thank you for all the support! I appreciate y’all.

You’ve got this! Sending light & love your way!

New Ebook/Self-Care Guide!!!

I am SO excited!!! Why? Because I have a NEW EBOOK available for purchase!

“Worth It! A Guide to Helping You Practice Self-Care” is now live! Prioritizing self-care can be a challenge, especially since we live in a world that praises people for going non-stop. I’ve been guilty of not practicing self-care, and it only leads to one thing…BURN OUT.

We’ve all been there at one point or another, which is why I created this little guide. “Worth It!” contains grounding techniques, journaling tips, habit trackers, wellness tips, and positive affirmations. You can purchase it for $9.99 on Amazon in either a paperback or a Kindle edition.

I also have my journaling guide, “Journey to Journaling” available for purchase, which contains 36 journaling prompts to guide you in developing a mindful journaling practice. It is also $9.99.

Please tell your friends and help spread the word. I can’t do this without y’all.

Another Honest Update

I’ve really been struggling these past few days, more than I have in awhile. I’ve had multiple panic attacks this week and my depression has been severe. I’ve been extremely unproductive this week due to everything feeling so hard. I just don’t have the energy to do anything but at the same time feel too panicky and scared to do anything.

I haven’t showered since Sunday night and haven’t been sticking to my typical skincare routine because it just feels like too much.

I’ve been sleeping a lot at night, but have also been taking naps during the day that are 2-3 hours long. I also haven’t moved off my couch much during the day. Again, it just seems too hard. The only times I’ve left my apartment this week were Monday, for my therapy appointment, and Tuesday, because I NEEDED to go to Target (it did take me until 5:00pm to finally work up the strength to do that).

Eating has been hard too. Nothing tastes good and I don’t have much of an appetite. I fixed some pasta for dinner on Monday, trying to do something nice for myself after having that panic attack at therapy, and it just didn’t taste good. It’s a pasta I fix almost weekly, but it just wasn’t appetizing. Tuesday, my food intake consisted of 2 small pieces of chocolate and some white cheddar popcorn. Yesterday, my food intake included part of a smoothie that I couldn’t bring myself to finish and more white cheddar popcorn. Today, my food intake has consisted of…nothing. I’m just not hungry. I know I need to eat, but nothing tastes good and I just don’t feel like it.

Everything feels like too much. Watching TV isn’t enjoyable; I haven’t even turned it on today. Doing anything on my laptop doesn’t feel engaging. Basically all I’ve done this week is lie on the couch and occasionally scroll through Instagram.

I’m tired of hurting. All week I’ve been hoping that maybe I’ll wake up the next day and feel better…that hasn’t happened yet…

I feel like this sounds so whiny, and I’m sorry. I just needed to get on here and write everything out, to help me work through everything. My plan is to write a more detailed blog post either tomorrow or over the weekend to explain some of the reasons why I’m struggling so much right now. Again, it’s primarily for me to just write out my thoughts and feelings. If someone else can benefit and see they aren’t alone, then that makes it all the better. Signing off now. Sending light & love your way!