Category Archives: Vulnerability Vomit/Honest Updates

Just trying to keep it real by sharing the more difficult side of mental health.

Depression Days, Altered Plans, & Growth Reflections

It’s one of those days…one of those days where I’m feeling more depressed than I am anxious. Actually, that’s how the past 4 days have been. When I have days like this, it’s often because the anxiety has been building up for so long and my mind & body finally just goes into shut downContinue reading “Depression Days, Altered Plans, & Growth Reflections”

The Transference Talk

Well…I did it. I spilled my guts to my therapist about my attachment to her, and so many emotions came with it. I was so nervous to tell her. I started to at my appointment last week but couldn’t work up the courage to do so. It felt too shameful and I wasn’t sure howContinue reading “The Transference Talk”

Painful, Professional Boundaries & the Therapeutic Relationship

Sometimes, it is so intense – the longing to see her in-between sessions. I know I can’t. I know it would be unethical, unprofessional, unhealthy, among other things…but it doesn’t change the way I feel. The relationship with my therapist is one of the few where I feel truly comfortable with being myself. It’s oneContinue reading “Painful, Professional Boundaries & the Therapeutic Relationship”

Another Honest Update

I’ve really been struggling these past few days, more than I have in awhile. I’ve had multiple panic attacks this week and my depression has been severe. I’ve been extremely unproductive this week due to everything feeling so hard. I just don’t have the energy to do anything but at the same time feel tooContinue reading “Another Honest Update”

A hangover…but make it the day after a panic attack

Hungover. That’s kind of the best way to describe how I’m feeling right now??? I guess??? I don’t know… What I do know is I. Feel. Like. Shit. I feel like SHIT. I’ve been out of it all day today, following my panic attack yesterday. I’ve felt drained of all energy and haven’t accomplished aContinue reading “A hangover…but make it the day after a panic attack”

Shame…

That’s the only way to describe how I feel right now. Shame. I had a panic attack during my therapy session today. I have been quite overwhelmed lately due to multiple stressors in my life currently and it’s just been…a lot… We were talking and suddenly, I could feel IT. I could feel the panicContinue reading “Shame…”

An Honest Update

Life has sucked lately. It’s as plain and simple as that. Life has SUCKED. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but my anxiety and depression have both been really bad as of late, especially my depression. The simplest of tasks feel so damn hard.  I just don’t have the energy to do anything.  GettingContinue reading “An Honest Update”

Anxiety Updates

My anxiety has been so much worse lately. It’s weird. I’m currently living in California (something I have wanted for several years) for my fieldwork rotation, and while it has been one of the sweetest, most freeing experiences, I have also felt HIGH levels of anxiety. There are a few things I can DEFINITELY pinpointContinue reading “Anxiety Updates”

Therapy Difficulties

I’m not sure what to do about my therapy appointments. I have my fieldwork rotation in California for the next 3 months but my therapist is back in Texas. She said before that we could do sessions over Zoom, but I don’t see how it’s going to work out with the 2 hour time difference.Continue reading “Therapy Difficulties”

Uncomfortable Confessions

I feel uncomfortable typing this…but I know that doing so will help me. So, here goes… I’m temporarily moving to California during January through early April for a level 2 fieldwork rotation for school (hey, remember when my intent was to use this blog to talk about OT school and I’ve pretty much never doneContinue reading “Uncomfortable Confessions”